Called to Love When It Is Difficult

Called to Love When It’s Difficult

Love is undoubtedly one of the most delightful feelings in the world. Being loved by your family and friends brings many emotions, most importantly the feelings of acceptance and security. Your loved ones may include various people such as family members and friends. The people who are dearest to you and offer support, encouragement, and dependability – your inner circle.

However, there are times when those in our inner circle can hurt us. Although you can never imagine them betraying you, it happens, and you are left feeling sad and discouraged. I’m sure you can recall a time when you have been hurt by a friend or loved one. The colleague who betrays you in order to advance to a higher position, the sister-in-Christ who shared your confidential conversation with another, or the hurtful words from a family member. It can be difficult to maintain relationships when there is heartbreak; the hurt may linger for months, and you may find it challenging as you attempt to rebuild trust. In these situations, it is important to remember John 13:34, we are called to love one another.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34 NIV

How Do You Respond to Heartbreak?

What do you do in these circumstances? How do you respond to family or friends who have hurt you and caused you heartache?  Do you withdraw, vowing never to trust them again, or do you react in anger adding to the brokenness? Unfortunately, I must be honest with you and share that I have responded poorly at times, which only made the situation worse. Looking back, I wish I had heeded my words. How should I have responded?

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV

When we consider these words from God, we know how we should respond. We should always respond with kindness and compassion. It’s ultimately our choice. We can walk away from the difficult people, retaliate, or open our arms and embrace them. Remember, Jesus has blessed us all with the ability to love, even the challenging.

Tips for Loving Those Who Are Difficult

If you are struggling with forgiveness or broken relationships, I have listed some ways for you to love someone who may be difficult to love. It is my prayer that as you review these tips, you will remember these words and rekindle the friendship.

1. Ask God to open your heart.

Petition God to open your heart towards the individual so that you may put off anger and put on mildness and consideration. Ask for understanding and compassion towards your family member or friend.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:12–14 NIV

2. Appeal to God for the brokenness.

Ask God to repair the relationship. It’s healthy to acknowledge the pain and the hurt as we ask God for healing.

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11 NIV

3. Move toward them, forgive them; do not withdraw from the relationship or put up walls.

Despite the fact that you may feel the need to distance yourself from the friend who betrayed you, it is important to seek peace and understanding.

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

4. Reach out in love.

We are called to love one another as God loved us and forgave us. Reach out in love and forgiveness.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 NIV

5. Do not keep a record of wrongdoing. Wipe the slate clean.

“Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

Love protects, not the walls we build or the distance we create. I pray you are on the path to restoring any broken relationships with family or friends. Your ability to forgive allows your light to shine and may prompt others to do the same.

Keep on shining!